This Thursday our MOPs meeting is all about intimacy in marriage, and our newsletter will have the same focus. This topic makes sense because over 90% of the moms in our groups are married. But for several of you this Thursday is a day you would like to skip over on your calendar. And maybe especially with what the MOPs speaker will be presenting. We do have single moms in our group who have experienced intimacy in the past (they are moms after all 🙂 ), and maybe they long for that again. I would also imagine that I am pretty accurate in predicting that not every mom in our group is currently happily married – intimacy might breed negativity at the moment. But we are hoping you will come anyway, and here are three (hopefully) good reasons why.
First of all, God may still have a happy marriage in store for you. Obviously, if you are married, that is the one God wants you to be with. But sometimes reconciliation is not possible, even with godly counseling, and marriages end. Please remember this: God is not done writing your story. The very words that are being spoken at MOPs this week may be the very words that God needs you to hear today for what He is preparing for you in the future.
Second, you bring reality. Not every marriage lasts 50+ years. One thing that honestly consoled me when I was single was the fact that anytime my married friends could be single again, and any day I could meet the man I was to marry. When I type those words, they sound a bit mean. That wasn’t what I wanted for my friends at all, but I needed to remember in my loneliness that God is the only One who KNOWS the future. A dear lady from our church has been widowed for many years – her husband died when he was the same age as my husband, of an unexpected heart attack. And I know that I cannot be the only one who has been stunned when a seemingly strong marriage fell apart under trying circumstances. Those of us who are married need to be reminded that marriage is not forever – only God is. And we need that reminder that having 2 parents in the home is a blessing, especially on days when we are tempted to complain because our husbands forgot to take out the trash one time or maybe only brought us one rose for V-Day when we wanted a dozen. You can help us temper our expectations and be thankful for the gift of even having a husband. Because at any point that could change for us too – only God knows!
Third, maybe coming to MOPs will help you hold out for a hero. While I am sure that having to listen to yet another husband story may be depressing at times, sometimes being around some women that are happily married can give hope that there are guys out there who will love Jesus and love their family. I know that is can be hard to be in the single season. When I turned 25, I remember spending much of my birthday dinner crying. My siblings were away at college, and being with just my parents felt very lonely. Many of my friends were married by the age of 20. As I look back now that 5 years of singleness (I met my husband 3 months after that sad birthday) was really a short amount time, but during that season, time seemed to drag on. I felt like an extra all of the time. But I am so thankful that my married friends kept me as a part of their lives – they helped me to want to hold out for a strong godly guy. And I also was able to see that no guy is perfect – my expectations of marriage were grounded and not unrealistic.
We do completely understand if you are in a struggling personal situation & you decide to skip MOPs this week. But please know that we do hope to see you anyway. I do give my blessing if you decide to come, but do avoid reading this newsletter and the upcoming blogs about marriage (this week only. 🙂 )
P.S. By the way, our 4 mentors have been married for a combined total of more than 125 years (yikes! 🙂 ) There is not a problem that you could mention that would be surprising, at least to of one of them. While they are not all counselors, I know from experience that they are all great listeners. They are with MOPs because they care about young families. If your situation requires additional help, they will be able to point you to a godly counselor. If you have concerns about anything to big to handle on your own (especially marriage), please seek one of them out!
P.P.S. A note especially to all of the single moms: please know that our hearts do ache for the situations you are in. Life has not exactly turned out the way that you planned. Those of us who are married maybe at a loss on how to help you. And maybe we bumble around and try to set you up with every imaginable single guy (or think about it), maybe making you feel like you are less because you are single. You. are. not. If we frustrate you with our futile attempts to make you feel “better,” please let us know. We really do want to be your friend, and we might need your help with that. One more thing: God makes many promises to take care of the orphans and the widows. When I read those verses, I personally feel like they apply to any single moms’ situation. God’s heart also breaks for you – He longs to comfort you, redeem your situation and even to be your husband. (Isaiah 54:5)