The theme of this blog post may not for everyone this time, since it has to do with romance. Maybe you will be alone this Christmas, without someone special to celebrate with (beyond your children). Maybe you feel alone even though your husband is still in the home. As someone who was single for several years after college and watched MANY friends get married, I remember that sting of loneliness, although I am sure that it must be intensified once you have known a love that has now gone away. I am not going to tell you that everything will be fine or to get over it. Pain is real. But I can promise you this – God is SO near to you right now, even if another human being isn’t. Psalm 34:18 states that God is close to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit. And in Psalm 147:3, He promises to heal the broken hearted and bind up their wounds. Not overnight, but in His time. Oh, how He loves you. I am praying as I send this out that He will show this to you. Even though I may not know who you are or may be surprised that you are hurting, God knows and He cares!
I think Christmas can be a romantic time. Must be all of the lights and the Hallmark Christmas movies. But Christmas also seems to be the busiest time for moms who are usually the ones that do the bulk of the shopping, wrapping and baking, on top of all the things they normally do. Plus there seems to be so many more evening activities. So, how can we carve out time during December to spend with the one we love the most?
Making marriage a priority during the preschool years is HARD! We live in a world that no longer seems to value the longevity of marriage, instead society seems to encourage people to live in the moment. Well, I am certainly NOT a marriage expert. In fact if you look closely at my life, you may wonder why I am writing a blog on this when I am not always the best at making my husband my first priority (behind God). But this is what I know – I am ON the right path because I genuinely do want to spend time with my husband, and I do keep making an effort.
One of the most impactful MOPS mornings for me was Jennifer Brown’s talk several years ago on “How Not to have a Headache.” Before that, I do not know that I truly grasped how much my husband just wants to spend time with me. Just me! (Sometimes I wonder why, but that is another subject … J) That has also caused me to at least attempt to make more of an effort to look nicer when I am out with him in public. (Still like to wear my comfy pants at home, but …)
What I continue to realize is that our marriage is OUR marriage. Our relationship needs to work for us – it doesn’t have to make sense to other people. We have never managed to have recommended regular date nights, but we do manage to spend many evenings together at home. How we run our family and our household probably wouldn’t help you, but we function just fine (usually). J
I know for me that I also need to continue in the lesson of doing less – picking a few things that I really want to do, rather than saying yes to lots of things. And maybe I need to keep consulting my husband with our schedule too, rather than telling him at the last moment, trying not to overwhelm him (which never works anywayJ). If we have too much going on, we will always feel like we are “two ships passing in the night.”
So, sometime soon I hope to have at an “at home” date night with my husband where I plan on sending the kids to watch a movie downstairs, while we stay upstairs to eat an uninterrupted (at least in theory) supper and then put the kids to bed fairly early, so that we can spend more time just being together. I won’t let you know how it goes, but I am sure it will be good! J (I love you, my Kyle!)
Some recommended romantic holiday songs and movies …
“Hibernation Day” by Jars of Clay
“364 Days to Go” by Brad Paisley
“Christmas Dreaming” by Harry Connick Jr.’
“Christmas for Two” by Sixpence None the Richer
“I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm” by Dean Martin (several other artists sing this too)
\”Wrap Me in Your Love” by Joe Diffie
Here are several of the MANY Christmas movies. If your husband is like mine, watching a Christmas movie might be considered a form of torture (although he will watch them occasionally). So, if this is the case, watch the movie during naptime and feel romantic when he comes home. J
“White Christmas” (nothing better than the classic)
“The Christmas Card”
“Christmas in Connecticut”
“Call Me Mrs. Miracle”